NOTE: I am disabling comments on this post for a whole lot of reasons, but you can still like and share at will.
*see the bottom of this post for a disclaimer
We all have someone in our life who, even from a distance, is fully capable of sucking the life out of us. It’s more than a matter of keeping distance or holding your relationship at arm’s length. Rather, it’s your shoulders creep to your ears at their mere mention. You can’t deal with this relationship for whatever reason. It’s triggering, it’s hurtful, and you need to cut all the ties that bind you.
For me, it’s someone who, at my core, I love, but I simply can’t deal with them or get beyond their past behaviors. The trust is forever gone, and I refuse to give them the opportunity to do even more damage to me or to my relationships with others. (Note: I am using gender-neutral they here not because this person is nonbinary but because I’m keeping their identity unknown.) I will not be accused of dragging someone through dirt I’ve already slogged through, of doing harm in the name of my own healing. I will not trigger them or provoke conflict. It’s a waste of my limited energy and, sometimes, giving someone credit for their damage (this is especially true for someone w/ Borderline Personality Disorder) fuels them to continue their ways. It empowers them and gives them the attention they seek.
Those who know me will easily realize who I am talking about.