Reboot: Transformation and Finding Purpose as a Disabled Creative

Blue screen. Error. System Reboot required.

     Hit the on button and see what happens next.

     Waiting. Installing updates.

     Older systems take longer to start.

     Desktop. Apps. Deep breath. Okay, here goes.

     Chronic illness. There is nothing more draining to the spirit, at least my spirit that is. I often have ideas, but the energy to see those ideas to fruition is nowhere to be found. This has been my struggle since September (bad bronchitis, two rounds of heavy steroids that necessitated  I come off the only medication that shushes my wonky autoimmune issues, enough said). Lots of creative thoughts. Few spoons to see them through. It’s not that I haven’t been at all creative. Oh, no. That simply isn’t me. I’ve worked on small mixed media pieces on my lap desk while I sit in my recliner. I’ve assembled and edited an anthology, also designing the cover. I’m finishing holiday gifts for family and friends as well. So what’s the issue? Wordage. I’m finding myself in a dry writing spell. Some might call it a block, but I choose to call it a part of my transformation.

     Transformation?

     Yes. Exactly. I am transforming from a writer, primarily a novelist who dabbles in art into an artist who also writes.  And my website will soon reflect this transformation.

     Why change after nearing two decades of publishing? Several reasons, actually: progressing illness that I am coming to terms with, a close reexamination of my past and those who told me the art I wished to do, mixed media, wasn’t worth pursuing, and shifting priorities. My goal is no longer to find writing success, in finding critical fame and a fan base,  but to simply enjoy my life. This includes exploring my artistic abilities to their fullest.

     So what is life calling forth from within me? Art in both visual and written forms. Visual art in the form of small folios paired with necessities donated to women’s shelters because I’ve been there and ached for something pretty, unique, and all my own. Small pieces donated to charity fundraisers. Gifts for family and friends. Cool gift collage tags for the holidays. Written art in the form of stories for those who appreciate my writing. A re-release is in the works for next year, as is the third release in the same series, and perhaps a new novel in the Appalachian Elementals series near the end of 2021 though I’m not pushing myself in that area.

     I place no expectations on myself other than creating as it suits me, as I am called. It’s a freeing transformation thus far and, if you keep watching, you’ll see it unfold in future posts.

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